Thursday, April 27, 2006

The Sports Question

I wish I could say my lack of confidence were reason enough to not play sports with boys. It's the reason I have for not doing it tonite, and I know it's the biggest cop out ever. I've never been such an athletic person, although I do enjoy sports, whenever on occasion I can play them with only all girls. It matters a lot less when you make a big fumble because everyone else is doing it too. (unless maybe you're playing with Athelia.) The unfortunate truth is that boys DO judge a girl by how she plays, and that's just not a chance I felt willing to take this evening. (except I'll most likely still be judged for chickening out.) See, I know that boys have a tendency to get competitive and it matters a lot more to them when you mess it up for the whole team. You see that fallen look on their face, sometimes here some choice words. Two summers ago, I was basically forced to play a co-ed basketball game. My team positioned me under the hoop where they could toss me the ball every chance they got and I could make an easy lay up. Supposedly. It was about the twentieth try that it finally went in. I saw my supervisor become frustrated beyond warrant, and I lost most respect that I had for him that day. Sports have a tendency to bring out a nasty side of people. Jeff had a theory that every girl should go see her boyfriend participate in a sporting event sometime when he doesn't know she's there. How could such a thing change the world, I wonder? Anyway, the point I was originally getting at is how much my self-consciousness controls my life, and that's just sad. Roommate Kathryn say, "You can do anything with confidence." Probably need to take that a little more to heart.